Afterwards

As I'm falling asleep, if I try hard enough, I can picture myself somewhere else. 

I'm sitting in the tartan seats on the top floor of the bus, in the front row, the best spot for people watching and picture taking. 

Maura and I are walking up Arthur's Seat, doing trust falls at the top where the wind fully supports us. Niamh is teaching Mark and Maura to do the hand jive in their kitchen after dinner.

Or we're driving through the countryside and through some trees I spot the tower of a castle. I tell Norma to take her eyes off the road for just a second and admire a newly born lamb, then, at the castle we visited, making sheep noises in attempt to attract them over to us so I could pet one (which never happened). I picture all the things Norma did to make me laugh, like arranging an entire bread festival in Paris, or, knowing it would make a great photo-op, agreeing to feed birds some baguette at the Notre Dame. I made her a birthday banner for her 75th, and she got Kris, Paul and me Easter eggs, even though we're all way too old for them. She showed me how to change into a swimsuit in public, then together we went for my first swim in the Mediterranean. The day we went to Liverpool so I could see the Beatles museum, then making sure I had a photo of me outside the Cavern where they got their start.

Sometimes it's already morning and I'm walking through downtown Reykjavik in the cold, on a mission to get my favorite pastry at Sandholt, while babies take their morning naps outside in their prams. I'm back outside at lunchtime for the afternoon fashion show of trends previously unseen. Mothers in capes and furs, fathers in brightly hued trousers and all-weather boots. Preschoolers are better dressed than me.

Other nights I'm arriving at Waverley Station and while all the commuters or families coming back from holiday hurry to the exit, I slow down and look up at the arched glass roof. I can't help but smile as I make up way up the walkway and take in the view of skyline again. I'm by myself, and I'm not expected home at any particular time. So I walk the opposite direction, aimlessly exploring. I take in the stone buildings, unchanged for hundreds of years, and watch as others go about their lives. I see something in a window and go inside. Yet another museum is free, and I look at the postcards in the shop. I watch the Millennium Clock on the hour. Someone asks me for directions. And then I get back on my tartan bus seat where, for once, I don't mind how long the ride takes. I'm happy to be there.

It's been hard this past month since coming home. It doesn't feel real, and I'm not sure I want it to be. My being home seems impermanent, as though I could be going sometime soon. The memories are strong, yet slowly fading, so night after night as I fall asleep, I try to keep them alive.

I have countless pictures, but they are not enough. I need to keep invisioning myself in these places, keep hearing the the lilt of the voices, remember the meaning of the expressions, and to hold onto the memories I promised myself I would never forget.

My family and friends ask me for my favorite parts. The best thing I saw, most unusual thing I ate, strangest expression I heard, best place I went, favorite person I met. I don't know what to say. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I can choose from, but mostly I fear that saying them aloud would mean it's really over.

So now I'm trying to focus on just how fortunate I am to have too many happy memories to decide on just one to tell you. I'm going through my pictures, trying to decide what to do with them, and which ones are good enough for a slideshow. And, of course, coming up with a plan to be able to go back soon.

Travel update

Hello friends!

I'm just writing a quick post here to let you all know that I've made it safely through my week in Iceland (it was incredible!), first few days in England, and have now gone up to Scotland. Tomorrow I'll be starting my volunteer work at Circle in Edinburgh, so wish me luck with that.

I'll be writing an extensive post on my week in Reykjavik, that will include some recommendations of places to stay, eat, and see, in the next few days. Also coming up: a recap of my time with Norma and friends in Settle, Yorkshire.

As always, feel free to leave comments. While the comment form asks for your email, it won't be published - it's just necessary to process them. I'd love to hear how you're doing!

That's it for tonight, but I'll be writing longer posts over the next few days. Above, is a photo taken by a fellow tourist at the waterfall Gulfoss, on the Golden Circle tour in Iceland. More photos from that day to come!

Last days in Seattle.*

With Byrony this past summer in El Salvador.

Between errands, packing, and spending time with family and friends, this past week has been exhausting, overwhelming, but worthwhile every minute. I'd say I'm getting a good taste of what the end of the summer will feel like before I head to college in late August, but for now, I try not to get too ahead of myself.

Saying goodbye to everyone has been difficult. I want to so many people with me; have someone to share in my experiences firsthand, validate the potential craziness that's about to ensue (Sidney told me I have to write about the embarrassing things!), and calm me down in the moments where I doubt that I can handle what's ahead. Sometimes I wish that the first week in Iceland could be over with, so I didn't have to adjust to being alone and meeting so many new people, yet still have the memories of the time there. But I know I'll enjoy myself once I get there. (Because, as I keep saying, no one country has the power to Photoshop every picture of themselves before they get released into the world, so it must actually look that nice 97% of the time. It's a scientific fact that I calculated myself!)

Torchlight Parade this summer with Alyssa and Eva, the weekend they visited me at camp.

ACES (Alyssa, Claire, Eva and Sidney!) at senior prom this June.

But I'm grateful for the days this week that had me going in weaving, back-and-forth lines throughout
Seattle to visit friends, the phone calls, and the Skype videos. Somehow I was pack my social calendar arguably more than any week in the past year, spending time with folks such as Andy, Paola and family, Sammy, Alyssa, Eva, Sidney, the Edwards/Dennison family, Charlotte, Byrony, Mary Ann, and Uncle Ira and Aunt Mary Claire, to name a few. I was able to spend a few days wandering around Vancouver, BC with my mom during the week, and tonight at Sunday Family dinner we had a little going away gathering, thanks to Lisa Dennison! Plus, on top of that, I finished the scholarship I've been working on for the last ten months.

Thanks to all for your pep talks, encouragement, advice, and general well wishes, I truly appreciate all of them and am so grateful to have you all in my life as start my travels!

Friends in Nueva Trinidad

* Or the time where I had to narrow down my jeans to two pairs. This is hard, because for those of you who don't know, jeans are my absolute favorite type of clothing -- aside from striped shirts -- because they look good on short people like me after having been lovingly hemmed by your talented seamstress/mother. And since I haven't grown in seven-plus years (shocking, I know), they've started accumulating. So it's a difficult process, relatable to a parent admitting their favorite child, I'd guess. I love them all equally, I promise.

P.S. As sarcasm isn't as clear online as it is in person, it's probably safe to assume that most posts here will have a touch of sarcasm from time to time. Because I say things sarcastically and interpret others literally, right, Alyssa/Eva?! It's a confusing life, the one I live. :)

I'm going to Europe!

Lately when I'm walking outside in the cold, wintry weather I wonder to myself: how am I going to survive Iceland? Over there, it'll be true winter, similar to the East Coast these days, as opposed to Seattle's always-mild temperature.

But weather is the least of my worries because I still can't believe I'm going to Europe in less than three weeks! The reality is slowly beginning to set in as I communicate with our dear family friend, Norma, who lives in Settle, a small town in the Yorkshire Dales of England. She's come to visit our family in Seattle just about every two years for as long as I can remember, and I often think of her as my honorary grandmother. Or, as my mom calls her, "my fairy godmother of travel," which is a pretty accurate title, I'd say.

This gap year trip (or GYT, as I abbreviate it on all my to do lists) truly wouldn't be happening without Norma and all of her generosity in offering me a room in her house as a home base, helping to arrange an eight-week volunteering opportunity at the non-profit in Scotland that she is a trustee of, contacting her network of friends, former students/coworkers and the like to find a room for me to rent in Edinburgh, and being so willing to show me around and introduce me to her friends over the nearly four months while I'll be in the UK. I'm so thankful for all the time and effort she has put towards helping me to make this crazy dream of mine a reality.

While I'm gone, I plan to write a weekly recap of sorts with photo highlights of what I've been up to. I hereby promise not to post photos of everything I eat, as I think that's strictly for Instagram, or whatever technology it is that people use these days to upload food pictures with Polaroid-style frames. On second hand, I'd definitely post a photo of me eating an Icelandic seafood delicacy that I actually consumed (pickled shark, anyone?), as that would be noteworthy for my seafood-averting self! Also, I'll most likely upload the majority of pictures I take to Facebook, if you'd like to see them there.

Just 18 days until I leave, I can't believe it And if you have any recommendations of places to go in or nearby Reykjavik, the first leg of my trip, I'd love to hear them!

(Photos by Bryan Pocius via Flickr Creative Commons)